“Mom, do you ever get a break from recovery?”
GULP. That was me doing the gulp, clearly not doing the asking. Tony asked me that question during one of the last few days of summer break- a question that had me speechless [mainly because of everything my family has been through the past 6 years as a result of my recovery journey]. The kids were talking about breaks—summer vacation from school, breaks from chores when you’re in school, breaks from playing with friends when you’re in different classes. In their world, taking a break means stepping back, recharging, and then starting again.
But recovery doesn’t work like that. There are no summer breaks, no timeouts, no “see you in September.” Sobriety is something I carry with me every single day. It’s not something I can put down, even for a little while.
No Days Off
The truth is, recovery is a daily practice. It’s not glamorous, and it’s not always easy. Some days it feels routine, like brushing my teeth. Other days it feels heavy, like I’m pushing a boulder uphill. But either way, there are no breaks—because staying sober is an act of self-love and self-care that I have to choose again and again.
That doesn’t mean I do it perfectly. It means I keep showing up.
Regulating Myself, Teaching My Kids
Motherhood and recovery overlap in unexpected ways. When I’m teaching my kids about self-regulation—taking a breath before reacting, calming down when they’re frustrated—I’m really practicing it myself.
I’ll say things out loud like:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to step away for a minute.”
“I need to take a break before I respond.”
- “I need some space, guys. Give me some space. NOW!” Ok I had to include a response that wasn’t so nice and chipper. Because as you can imagine, some days I respond with a raised voice… that is quickly followed by an apology and a hug. There goes the space I was originally asking for 😉
It might sound awkward, but it’s real. They see me practicing what I preach, and in turn, I get a reminder that recovery isn’t just about staying sober—it’s about building a life with healthier patterns and more love.
Leaning on My Village
But here’s the thing: even with all the practice, there are days when recovery feels too heavy. Days when I feel like I can’t go on. That’s when my village matters most.
Recovery isn’t meant to be walked alone. Sometimes asking for help, calling a friend, or simply taking a timeout from the chaos of motherhood is exactly what keeps me steady. My kids might not see that as a “break,” but I do. Those moments of support, connection, and grace are what allow me to keep showing up—for them and for myself.
The Takeaway
So, do I ever get a break from recovery? No. But I’ve realized that I don’t need one. Recovery is not punishment—it’s the way I love myself enough to keep going. It’s how I remind myself daily that I’m worth the effort.
There are no breaks, but there are lifelines. And every time I reach for them, I’m teaching my kids something just as important as self-regulation: that strength doesn’t mean doing it all alone.
Recovery is self-love in action. It’s daily practice, not perfection. No breaks—just the steady reminder to ask for help when you need it.
