Juggling a baby and a toddler is a challenging yet rewarding part of parenthood. Here are a few tips that have helped my family adjust to life with a newborn, baby, and toddler phase all under the same roof!
Ok. I realize I probably should’ve written this post almost two years ago when Anthony was born and Joey was just reaching toddler-hood. The reality is Anthony was not the easiest baby, and I’m fairly certain I blacked out during what Ted and I refer to as, “the dark winter.” Looking back to that time and now being in the thick of baby and toddler life with Lily and her brothers, I’ve found a few things helpful when it comes to juggling a newborn and a toddler. Or in our family, two toddlers. 
Disclaimer: I believe there’s NOT a one-size-fits-all when it comes to being a Mom. I don’t have it all figured out. And most days my engine is running on coffee or adrenaline. I’m either yelling at Anthony to use his, “happy voice,” or yelling at Joey to stop asking for another TV show. So please, PLEASE do NOT think it’s all puppies and cupcakes over here. And despite what my recipe index might show you, I’m only cooking EASY and somewhat healthy meals- forget gourmet, Pinterest-worthy ones. And when that fails because I didn’t have time to go grocery shopping we are eating Dominos pizza and cheesy bread. Truth.
So here’s what’s worked for me when it comes to being #1 for all of the Serbinski kiddos…
Don’t expect to get much sleep. Well I’m just being honest with this one. Whomever came up with the saying, “sleeps like a baby,” clearly never had a baby. It’s going to be a tough the first year. Yep. A year. Or least it has been for me and my babies until they hit the one year mark. There’s so much growth and development that happens the first year that I never know if my baby is getting a tooth, an ear infection, or is about to roll over. Needless to say we have good weeks and off weeks when it comes to baby sleep [tell me I’m not alone in this one?!]. Muphy’s Law of Motherhood: Just when you get the baby down to sleep your toddler will magically decide to skip their nap. Oh and want to know what happens when they both magically fall asleep at the same time? You decide: will you take a shower or a nap?!
Keep a list of easy meals on hand. Like my list of 50 easy, no-recipe needed meal ideas. Truth be told the first 5 weeks of Lily’s life the boys enjoyed their fair share of grilled cheese and chicken nuggets. Now that I’m in a groove and can get at least a few hours on the weekend for some food prep, I make sure I’m prepping easy snacks [think fresh produce, portioning out homemade trail mix, washing fruit] and a few meal components that can easily be thrown together midweek for a meal. If your new to Mom to Mom Nutrition, I’d encourage you to sign up for my newsletter! I’ve starting adding weekly meal plans linked with easy meals and dinner ideas that are somewhat toddler approved.
Involve your kids in each other’s activities. So I’ve read when you have a newborn baby that you should have your toddler help give the baby a bath, bottle, change, etc to make them feel included. I’ve implemented this too with the baby doing the same with the toddlers- i.e. watching the boys color, play with trains, jump in the ball pit, etc. Even though Lily looks at me like I’m crazy as she’s laying on the floor doing tummy time, it helps the boys feel like she’s somewhat interested in their life too. Or so that’s what I’m telling myself!
Rely a LOT more on your partner. If you can. I know we all have different situations at home- some spouses travel a lot for work, some are in the military and deployed, others work crazy long hours. I don’t know what I’d do without Ted and his availability to pitch in when I need him most— aka when I’m about to lose my marbles 2-3x a week. Or his ability to do some of the things I did before kids— like grocery shop [with a detailed list], make returns at Target, or most recently, give all 3 kids a bath. I do still take the kids to the grocery store if we run out of milk or if I need a quick card for a birthday party. But after that adventure I’m quickly reminded how nice it is to be able to delegate! For those of you who do all of those tasks solo, tell me how YOU do IT!?!
Sometimes the baby can wait. Yep, it’s true, the baby will always want something when your toddler does. So, when I know Lily is fed, changed, and well-rested, and she just so happens to starts in on a little fussy period while one of the boys need me, well, sometimes Lily can wait. No, I don’t let her scream and carry on for hours, but a minute or two is OK. I was reminded of this when my pediatrician told me a baby’s job is to cry. That’s how they communicate. What else do we expect them to do?! Oh besides snuggle and smile and coo!
Ok. So this was somewhat of a word vomit type of post. But this is what life has been like juggling a baby and a toddler. Something happens when you have a child. And another. And another. Your love for your children both young and old grows, and everyone STILL manages to find a place in Momma’s lap to be the baby. Although this lap is getting a little full…
Tell me: If you are in the baby/toddler phase, what has helped you cope with the demands of each child?!
I have a 3 year old, and also a baby on the way. Thank you so much for your honesty about Dominos, you have no idea how comforting it is!
No shame in a little help from take out!! 🙂
Katie – Thank you for your honesty! I have a 27 month and 16 month old girls, and we are considering adding another little one to the mix (that decision is an ongoing conversation!). We are dealing with always needing mommy and temper tantrums and potty training and all the other toddler issues. It’s hard and awesome all at the same time. I work really hard at getting healthy meals on the table, and I luckily have good eaters (they love carrots and will try anything). But we do eat pizza on Friday nights! While I meal plan and prep, I am working on getting the same recipes (I like trying new things which makes it hard when you’re in a hurry). Thanks for posting!!
The toddler years. I’m not sure what I’m looking forward to most: the end of the battles or the beginning of teenage ones. JK!! 😉 but yes some days are SO challenging with our strong spirits!
And thank you Jamie for your comment!!
29 and 14 month old here! I always try to double recipes if I can – chili, soups, etc. If I’m already making it, might as well double it and freeze a portion for a rough day or week. I also make and portion freeze chicken stock so I can make quick soups etc. and know there isn’t any added sodium or preservatives in it. That said, we definitely stop at chick fila once a week when mom needs a break! Oh and a standing Thursday night date night so mom and dad can get a quit meal at least once a week! ?
I love chick Fila lol!! You have some great strategies Molly. And I love that you and your husband have set date nights. A goal for us in 2017!
I am past this phase (both sons go to school now), but I remember how hard it was. Frozen meals are of great help, or at least frozen veggies/meat/fish for whenever you can’t go grocery shopping. But it seems that all kids love pizza, fries and spaghetti, so these are fine. We usually had spaghetti and canned tuna when there just wasn’t enough time to cook. However, encouraging my husband to cook was probably the best move I’ve ever made. He really loves the idea that men are better at cooking meat, and in many countries this is considered the art for a male chef – which is only partly true, but it worked wonders for us. Having a chalkboard in the house is great, or several ones so that nobody fights over it. Although my sons would always fight for the same toys or even broken-off parts of toys while there was plenty other stuff around to play with, there wasn’t really an activity they would enjoy together, except for playing with the sand or listening to someone reading books. I can’t say this always went quiet, but a sandbox was very helpful. You can also DIY moon sand or kinetic sand to play with in the house, but it’s best to restrict this activity to a separate room or place that is easy to clean and doesn’t have a carpet. An empty bathtub may work for that, whenever not used for its primary purposes, but will fit only 1 or 2 kids. Building blocks and Mega Blocks are fun to keep the little ones busy and creative. Lego bricks are, too, but for older kids who won’t put them into their mouths or noses. This stage is very individual – about 5 years old or so.
I love the idea of a chalkboard! Thank you so much for sharing what’s worked for you and your kiddos. These winter months can be long!!!
Love this post and your blog in general- I’m also an RD and mom of 21mo and 3mo boys, so I can totally relate!
Thanks Sam!!! I hope your boys enjoy the recipes as much as my boys. Aka every other day 🙂