Mom funk. Yep, mention those two words to any mom and they’ll likely nod, acknowledge that they’ve been there too, and offer up some kind of support. I know it’s hard to imagine being in a “funk” with three beautiful children, a hard-working, supportive husband, and my parents recent purchase of a golden retriever puppy. The grass is always greener folks… and some days, heck WEEKS, I find myself in a mom funk. So instead of running through a laundry list of the things that bring on more than the baby blues, I thought I’d share a few strategies that have helped me get through…. You know, the things besides baby snuggles and toddler hugs!
The power of prayer. We go to church every week as a family but I find in that hour of mass time I don’t say ONE prayer. I’m playing referee or rocking the baby to sleep. Recently I’ve started saying the Hail Mary prayer three times a day: when the kids eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Why at mealtimes? Well, they always eat three meals a day! So I know that at those three times during the day I have some kind of constant, that consistency. There’s something about praying to the Blessed Mother for patience, guidance, and most of all, understanding, that has really helped to ground me through the crazy days with the kids. If prayer isn’t your thing, you could always try 5-10 deep breaths or a few jumping jacks.
Glass half full thinking. It’s easy to talk with other parents [or your spouse] and start the, “I had a harder day than you with my kids,” conversation. You know, trumping one another’s troubles. I’m finding if I have a friend who needs to vent or tell me about their bad day, I listen, acknowledge, then offer up support in some form of a positive statement. Guess what? Please do that for me too. I really, really need that kind of reinforcement!
Unplug the phone. I find this one SO hard because my phone, Facebook, Snapchat, etc. are all those things are how I stayed connected to people other than my children. Plus, my business counts on me being online! The funny thing is I asked 4 mom-friends who I frequently chat with via email, Facebook message, and texting, and they all said the same thing. Unplug. Turn off. And quit looking at Facebook or Instagram! Why?! Because sometimes you can’t help but compare your life to another’s. And comparison is the thief of joy…. [thanks Holley, Sarah, Aggie, and Jessica for being a part of my online lifeline of moms!].
Ask for help. I’ve stopped thinking the people in my life can read my mind. I’m fairly certain it’s a trait not many husbands or wives know how to do. So instead of getting mad and thinking the people around me should see I need help, I ask for it. I’m a prideful person and while I want to do it all, blogging included, but I know I can’t. And when I try, that leads to me snapping and yelling at my husband and the boys. They say the sign of a good leader is that they know how to delegate—- I think that holds true for the Mom of this family!
Nana and Grandpa had the boys for two nights while Mom, Dad, and Lily had some alone time. They were clearly having too good of a time without Mom and Dad!
Most days I’m struggling to find the patience to spend 16 hours with the little people in my life who want more water, to be carried down the stairs, and multiple diaper changes. But my “defeat the mom funk!” strategies seem to be helping with that. That being me and my happiness. Because if Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! [Thanks Dad, for always saying that when I was growing up!]
So tell me: What do you do to get out of the mom funk?!
Okay, that video made me so happy. Girl you know I know this funk. And I’m glad you wrote about it! We are all in this together.
I am going to start saying Hail Mary at meal times. There was a time when I set an alarm on my phone for 3 times a day to stop and pray. You just reminded me of that.
Also, I sympathize and empathize about the car rides, Micah was a screamer and it was soooo stressful in the car. Hang in there. xoxo
I got stuck in the funk too. I work from home also with a strong-willed, highly active and beautiful newly 2 year old daughter. It is not easy many days, but definitely worth it. Prayer is a great strength to me when I feel alone and down. But I also realized that sometimes I doing too much for everyone else and not taking care of me, thus we are all suffering. So, I accepted less incoming work, to finish my late work. Enjoyed the falls days with my daughter outdoors, because nature really relaxes us both and nothing better to calm a temper tantrum then a trip to the park. And I started doing little things for me like pluck my eyebrows, wash and style my hair, paint my nails, or call a friend. Focusing on the little things really helped me to once again become grounded and focused.
Quiana— thank you for sharing! I love how you took a step back and made small changes. Nothing drastic, but all achievable goals. I am with you and have taken in less work so I can get SOME work done without feeling like I need to spend all my alone time doing that. Now if only I could learn to paint my nails without looking like a toddler did it lol!