Last week I shared that I’ve been feeling a little blue as of late. And I’m here to report that with all the changes I made to work on my funk helped. Notice I didn’t say the changes got me out of my funk, cured the funk, or fixed me. They are helping. And that’s all I can ask for right now. That and some pure Michigan sunshine. The past few days have been absolutely GORGEOUS in Michigan and there’s no doubt the sunshine plays a role in my mood too!
Today is my birthday, and while I had thought I might have something profound or prophetic to share with you all, I’m OK today. OK is a big difference in how I was feeling this time last year. Last year, one foot in recovery and one foot out, I was [insert any adjective NOT ok and less than ok]. I look back at my years prior to last year, the big using years, and I was not myself. I don’t even know who that person, daughter, wife, and Mom was. Today I’m using my past as an asset- to help someone else, and to use as my own fuel to work through emotions, forgive myself, and most importantly, give thanks to God for all the good in my life.
This year for my birthday I’m just doing the deal. Living in reality vs. fantasy. And smiling at life’s little pleasures. I’m spending the day working on behalf of America’s farmers and ranchers [I love beef!], working as lunch Mom at my kids’ school, fitting in a walk if I can, and ending the night at dinner with a few women in recovery. The weekend will be spent doing more work
At 35 I have everything I need AND more. And that means I’m more than OK. I’m cared for and loved beyond belief. And I’m starting to visualize and feel this in my own self- not from a bottle, relationship, or material good. That my friends, is exactly how I want to continue this year and beyond. While I’d like to say here’s to another 35 years, let’s just get through today, shall we?!