I’ve always considered myself more of a “boy Mom.” So when the ultrasound technician told us we were having a baby girl, I calmly told her she was lying. “No, really, you are having a girl.” Ted apparently knew it all along, but me? I was doubting Thomas! When friends and family first found out I was pregnant, I was of course asked the question, “are you hoping for a baby girl?” And my answer was simply “no.” I love my boys. I sometimes feel like I relate more to men [from a sports and pizza and beer perspective]. And my goodness, do little boys LOVE their mommas.
So needless to say I am beyond shocked, excited and scared to be welcoming a little girl into the world this summer. BUT. You knew there was going to be a BUT. I’m SO ready to have someone on my team! And someone I can share my American Girl Doll collection with. And someone I can buy sweet Kelly green bows for. And someone I can teach my mad soccer skills to [the boys are more interested in trains and dinosaurs at this point].
It might seem silly to be scared to bring a baby girl into the world, but honestly, I’m scared. I’m thankful for my friends raising good men and women, but I’m scared for the interactions all my children will have with the not-so-good people of this world. I also can’t help but think about the years of self-doubt, body-hate, and disordered eating I’ve been through. Thankfully I overcame those issues but the dark cloud is still there. My worry is that she too will have those moments or years of pain. But hey, on the bright side, family pulled me through. And lord knows she’ll have a rock of a family behind her every step of the way!
Ok back to some burning questions… Were we trying? That’s question number two on most people’s minds. No. But apparently we were not NOT trying too. I know I am BEYOND blessed to be able to birth children without “trying.” In fact, I’m aware that many of my friends and good women in our world are having to try— and I’m extremely sensitive [and supportive] of that. With my blessing comes the fact that I’ve been pregnant since 2013. And there’s plenty of wear and tear and marks on this body that have me doubt myself and bring out insecurities daily. But again, I’m reminded of the fact that God has given me the gift to be a Mom. He gives many women that gift—- and it comes in different ways shapes and forms, like adoption [both my brother and I were special enough to be adopted], foster care, “dog Moms,” you name it. Now’s the time to embrace it. And get sleep when I can… which is more important to me than working out or eating organic. Chasing two toddlers is exercise enough, right?!
Needless to say things are about to get even busier around here… and I didn’t think that was possible. So if there’s a reason I go in spurts of posting 4 times a week to once a week to not posting for a few months, you now KNOW why! And if you ever question why or how I’m still doing this [blogging, consulting, writing], I can’t answer that right now. All I know is I appreciate YOU for reading my work, trying my recipes, and joining me on this crazy journey. But please, if you have a little girl at home, tell me: what am I in for?!
PS. I now KNOW I am having a girl. Why? Well, this may be TMI, but my breasts are HUGE [for me], my mood is well, hot and cold, and my appetite is incessant. This little princess LOVES cheesy nachos, chicken shawarma, and McDonald’s chocolate shakes, just. Like. Mom.