Turning 40 as a mom of four—10 meaningful things I hope my kids remember about me, our home, and the way I loved them through every season.
(For background: I turned 40 on November 6, 2025. I’m doing my best to embrace this new decade with grace and humor and smiles all around. And I’m very slow to recap the wonderful celebration with family and friends that pretty much started November 6th and ended November 10th. More birthday posts after this one… stay tuned!)
Lately, I’ve noticed a funny little thing happening in our house: the kids will start talking about me like I’m not even in the room. As if I’ve suddenly become invisible while they debate my rules, my phrases, my habits, and my “Mom Logic,” all while I’m standing right there folding laundry or handing over a snack.
They speak in generalizations— “Mom always…” or “Mom never lets us…”—because that’s how kids make sense of the world. Everything is big and dramatic and absolute. And I get it. That’s childhood.
But as I turn 40, I’ve been thinking about what I hope they remember. Not the “Mom who says no gymnastics in the family room” or the “Mom who won’t let us have a popsicle before dinner,” but the real, whole me:
The mom who is proud of them every single day.
The mom who would drop everything in a heartbeat if they needed her.
The mom who is still learning, still healing, still growing—right along with them.
So, for my 40th birthday, here are 10 things I hope my kids remember about me one day. Not the urgent, loud stuff of everyday life… but the stuff beneath it.
The Top 10 Things I Hope My Kids Remember About Me
1. That every night, without fail, I told you I was proud to be your mom.
And I meant it. Even on the messy, chaotic, hard days.
2. That you could always come to me with anything.
No matter your age, the problem, or the mistake—you were safe with me.
3. That I fought for my sobriety because I loved you.
I’m sorry for the ways addiction touched our life. I hope you remember the strength that came after, not just the struggle.
4. That my phone was never more important than you.
I wasn’t escaping—I was running our life behind the scenes.
5. That feeding you was one of my love languages.
Fancy or frozen, homemade or heated up—my goal was simply to take care of you.
6. That I asked if you brushed your teeth, put on underwear, packed your homework, or grabbed your water bottle… forever.
Because that’s what moms do. At every age.
7. That I showed up.
For the games, the concerts, the early mornings, the freezing sidelines, the late pickups. You mattered to me.
8. That I wasn’t perfect, but I was trying—every day.
Growing, learning, apologizing, improving… right alongside you. Be better than yesterday- it’s our motto for good reason.
9. That home was meant to feel safe.
Cozy, loud, small, imperfect—but safe. A place to land.
10. That you were, and always will be, the greatest gift of my life.
Nothing else compares. Nothing ever will.
Turning 40 feels less like a milestone and more like a deep breath—a moment to look at the life I’ve built with these four little humans and think: This is it. This is the good stuff.
And if someday they remember even a handful of these things, then I’ll know I did something right.
