If you are co-parenting this holiday season….
I am too.
And it sucks. Sorry, Mom. I have no other word to describe it [that’s not blowing up my WordPress app with F-bombs].
The lead up to, the actual holiday, and the plan after the holiday, feels, well, it feels like a lot. Overwhelming to say the least. How do I plan my day without the little people I plan my LIFE around? Who will take Michael to the bathroom 2x a night? Who will cut Joey’s crust off his turkey sandwich like Grandma did? This is their first Thanksgiving without Ted’s Mom… GAH. See, the wheels are turning!!!!
Pause. Deep breath. Quick hello to God. Continue…
When I micro-size holidays to moments, 1-off plans, or really, one day at a time, the time without my children flies by. Or so that’s what I’m reminding myself as they leave for Thanksgiving with their dad’s family today….
Here’s what I want you to know about my co-parenting experience:
Being without my children- NOT ON MY TERMS- is really, really hard. It’s unnatural. It feels like I’m being punished or scolded or, “see, you did this! This is your consequence.” Ok that’s a bit dramatic. But my brain tends to lean that way from time to time…
As much WORK as I put in to NOT feel this way [dramatic, sad, lonely, sad, sad, sad], those feelings will always be there. Because let’s face it, anyone can get a little blue this time of year. I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one dealing with the, “well, this isn’t what I thought Thanksgiving was going to be like at XYZ stage of my life.”
I know what I need to do to bring joy back into each day I’m without the kids- THANK YOU to many of you who check-in, ask to go for a walk, dinner, or heck, invite me over to play or watch your kids [lol]. I might not respond right away. I might not know what to say. Just know I APPRECIATE YOU!
If you are co-parenting this holiday season…
Cancel plans if you need to. Drive your own car to the holiday party or event so you can LEAVE when it’s best for YOU. Trust that little feeling inside your gut to slow down, enjoy a hot cup of coffee or a hot bath [for me, solo, lol].
TRY not to make a to-do list so long that you are overwhelmed to even start it [yep, that’s me usually when the kids are away for a co-parenting holiday break].
And remember, your worth as a parent or person is NOT determined by the number of actual holiday[s] you spend with your child. It’s about the day-to-day moments and the consistency of showing up EVERYDAY that matters.
Turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole or NOT, I will always be their mom. I’m pretty sure they’ll never let me forget it!